I'm jealous of my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend

Question

I found a photo of my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. Now I compare myself to him all the time. I really don’t want to be reminded of her life before she met me, because it makes me feel really jealous. What should I do?

Answer

You can’t change the fact that your girlfriend has been in relationships before you got together. You can, however, work on accepting this fact.

It’s easy to forget that you may also have your own memories of previous relationships. Is this the case for you?

It’s common to compare yourself with your partner’s ex. But, try to think about your own positive qualities. And try to remember that her ex-boyfriend is not a threat. You’re an entirely different guy. You’ve chosen each other, and you are the one she’s with. So enjoy that fact!

You can tell your girlfriend that seeing the photos was tough. But also tell her that it’s OK. We should all be allowed to keep our old photos.

Jealousy is something that most people feel at some point in time. But, being extremely jealous can be hard work - both for you and for the person you’re with.

Sometimes, jealousy can come from low self-esteem or thinking that you’re not good enough, as you are.

You can try to boost your self-esteem and think about liking yourself, just as you are. That will no doubt make you feel less jealous.